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12/18/2005 SleepSleep is a Gatekeeper. Into the castle of Dreams and Imagination. Where dragons fly, and death does not exist. Sleep is a Shroud. Removing the problems of our hectic lives. Blocking out the pain we feel everyday. Sleep is a Hunter. Pursued, we are captured in its victory. Released, the hunt begins again. Sleep is a Cruel Mistress. Denying us her warm embrace when we can think of nothing else. Teasing us with drowsiness. Torturing us with insomnia. Sleep is the Final Reward. Our dreams do not fade. Shrouded forever from the pain of life. The hunt is finally over. She embraces us forever.
Copyright ©2005 Duane A Carney II 11/23/2005 A little humor...If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook Off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili Taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.
Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted." Here are the scorecard notes from the event: ***************************************************** CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI... Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick. Judge # 2 - Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild. Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy. ***************************************************** CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI... Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang. Judge #2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously. Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. ***************************************************** CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI... Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers. Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all of the beer. ***************************************************** CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC... Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing. Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods not much of a chili. Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beermaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is starting to look HOT. just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac? ***************************************************** CHILI # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER... Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive. Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement. Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks. ***************************************************** CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY... Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers. Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb. Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shit on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone. ***************************************************** CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI... Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers. Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably. Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach. ***************************************************** CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI... Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence. Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili? Judge # 3 - No Report 9/26/2005 SerenityThe movie 'Serenity' comes out on Friday. I have been waiting for this because it ties up the story lines that were left hanging when it was a series. It was cancelled after one season, but it is such a great story. I was hoping another network would grab the series and run with it.
The synopsis of the story from the series is...
Malcom 'Mal' Reynolds is the Captain of a ship called "Serenity" which was named after the Battle of Serenity Valley' between the Alliance and the Independants. Mal, an Independant, was one of the few survivors of that lost battle. He and his crew take on odd jobs with varying degrees of legality. They also have taken on a few passengers. A preacher, a Companion, and a young doctor who is trying to keep his sister out of Alliance hands. They've been experimenting on her and will do anything to get her back. The crew is made up of First Mate Zoe who is married to pilot Wash. The musscle on the crew is Jayne (a guy, but I wouldn't joke about is name, or he'll pull out Vera, a very stunning and lethal weapon) and the mechanic is Kaylee (my vote for most stunning and beautiful). The passengers are Inara, the companion, and Book, the preacher. The brother and sister fugitives are Simon and River.
I can't wait to provide you with a review of this film. It is long overdue. |
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