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    2/14/2007

    VD Message

    Crappy, err i mean..., Happy Valentine's Day everybody.
    4/12/2006

    What's In A Name?

    YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet and current street name)
    Brandy Maltese
     
    YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your mother's side, your favorite candy)
    Archibald Aero
     
    YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name, first two or three letters of your last name)
    D'Car
     
    YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite animal, favorite color)
    Penguin Blue
     
    YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
    Albert Santa
     
    YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name)
    Car Hesbra
     
    JEDI NAME (first three letters of your last name, first two of your first name, first two of your grandmother's maiden name, first three of the town you were born in)
    Cardu Sesan
     
    P0RN STAR NAME: (middle name, street you grew up on)
    Al Root
     
    Overall, I'm satisfied with all these names (except for "Brandy", I need more macho pets)
     
    12/18/2005

    Sleep

    Sleep is a Gatekeeper.
    Into the castle of Dreams and Imagination.
    Where dragons fly, and death does not exist.

    Sleep is a Shroud.
    Removing the problems of our hectic lives.
    Blocking out the pain we feel everyday.

    Sleep is a Hunter.
    Pursued, we are captured in its victory.
    Released, the hunt begins again.

    Sleep is a Cruel Mistress.
    Denying us her warm embrace when we can think of nothing else.
    Teasing us with drowsiness.
    Torturing us with insomnia.

    Sleep is the Final Reward.
    Our dreams do not fade.
    Shrouded forever from the pain of life.
    The hunt is finally over.
    She embraces us forever.

     

    Copyright ©2005 Duane A Carney II

    11/23/2005

    A little humor...

    If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook Off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili Taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.

    Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted."

    Here are the scorecard notes from the event:
    *****************************************************
    CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI...
    Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
    Judge # 2 - Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
    Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
    *****************************************************
    CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI...
    Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
    Judge #2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
    Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
    *****************************************************
    CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI...
    Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
    Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
    Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all of the beer.
    *****************************************************
    CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC...
    Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
    Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods not much of a chili.
    Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beermaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is starting to look HOT. just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?
    *****************************************************
    CHILI # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...
    Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
    Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
    Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.

    *****************************************************
    CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY...
    Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
    Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
    Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shit on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.
    *****************************************************

    CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI...
    Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
    Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
    Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

    *****************************************************
    CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI...
    Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
    Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
    Judge # 3 - No Report
    10/8/2005

    Serenity

    I LOVE THIS FILM! 
     
    If a series is taken from us before it's prime, when it is young and still an infant, it is a sad thing.  It showed us so much promise, and had so much potential.  Firefly was just such a series.  Joss Whedon created a wonderfully plausible universe for this story.  A great mix of Eastern and Western societies formed an exciting arena for our not so clean cut heros to express themselves in a very realistic and human drama.  We can look at this and say "The isn't how I want the future to look like but it probably will end up being just like this".  A place that ends up looking more like the Old West and has a certain charm or attraction because of it.  What man (or woman) wouldn't want to be able to get away from society into a place that doesn't have as many rules, place where companionship can be bought, where the only law is the law that you make.  And to have a few friends along to watch your back would make it all the more exciting.
     
    I loved this show when it was on, I loved it more when I bought the DVD.  And I still love it and hope it spawns many more movies.  Yes Joss did tie up the loose ends of the series, but he opened so many other wonderful possibilities.  The only thing I disliked about the movie (I thought it was pointless) was the killing of Wash, the pilot.  Although, I did like the last scene where Mal takes River under his wing to teach her a to pilot Serenity.  I have a feeling she will be teaching him how the fly her before long.
     
    4.5 stars out of 5
    9/26/2005

    Serenity

    The movie 'Serenity' comes out on Friday.  I have been waiting for this because it ties up the story lines that were left hanging when it was a series.  It was cancelled after one season, but it is such a great story.  I was hoping another network would grab the series and run with it.
     
    The synopsis of the story from the series is...
        Malcom 'Mal' Reynolds is the Captain of a ship called "Serenity" which was named after the Battle of Serenity Valley' between the Alliance and the Independants.  Mal, an Independant, was one of the few survivors of that lost battle.  He and his crew take on odd jobs with varying degrees of legality.  They also have taken on a few passengers. A preacher, a Companion, and a young doctor who is trying to keep his sister out of Alliance hands.  They've been experimenting on her and will do anything to get her back.  The crew is made up of First Mate Zoe who is married to pilot Wash.  The musscle on the crew is Jayne (a guy, but I wouldn't joke about is name, or he'll pull out Vera, a very stunning and lethal weapon) and the mechanic is Kaylee (my vote for most stunning and beautiful). The passengers are Inara, the companion, and Book, the preacher.  The brother and sister fugitives are Simon and River.
     
    I can't wait to provide you with a review of this film.  It is long overdue.
    8/22/2005

    Last week (con't)

    So, after my doctor's appointment last monday morning, I get back to the office and no one can seem to get out to the internet or in from the internet (we have three offices that are remotes).  Turns out our router is EXTREMELY slow.  It did this once before but corrected itself and started working again.  At the time it bugged me but everyone said, "Hey, if it aint broke, don't fix it".  Well, now they want it fixed and I can't find the problem.  I even get Time Warner, Cisco and CDW involved.  Everyone is pointing fingers.  I'll be glad when we get the new service in October.  Time Warner will provide the equipment and all I will have to say is "It's Broken!". 
     
    On top of all this, Dan's PC broke down and I've been unable to re-susitate it.  It had a bad memory module and a bad cable, and I suspect it also has a bad motherboard.  Wish I had better news for him.
    8/20/2005

    Busy week.

    Well, it has been a busy week.  It started off on monday with a doctor's appointment.  I found out that my insurance company is finally covering my medical bills.  They kept asking for more documentation to prove that this wasn't preexisting.  Their main question was "Have you seen a doctor for this in the past year".  And, truthfully I can say no, I haven't been to a doctor in several years.  So with the doctor's office's help I am finally covered and can start getting the other tests that the doctor wanted me to get.  I am also taking all the medications the doctor prescribed.  It is hard to remember every single one.  But, since monday, I've been taking every single one as prescribed and I have been feeling a lot better as the week went on.
     
    Thursday night I had an Oxygen meter hooked up to me while I slept. Clips on to a finger and tells you all kinds of crap about whats going on inside.  They can make something this ingenious and yet they still need a big ass needle to draw blood.  Go figure.  Don't know any results yet from the test, but during the night my SaO2 percentage dropped to around 80.  I'll find out monday what that all means.
     
    Tuesday I have an appointment with a Pulmonary specialist.  They have to find out if I have pulmonary hypertention.  Doc said he needed to know that before exploring other treatments to help with my weight.  There are two types I think he said.  One is treatable with a pill, the other is treatable with viagra  administered through an injection .  No, not there.  Somewhere in my chest I believe.  Well, that was monday morning.  The week went downhill from there.  More later...
    8/12/2005

    "If someone tries to kill you... You try to kill them right back!"

    I can't tell you how glad I am to finally see a science fiction show with a little science fact.  If you fire a gun in space, you are not going to hear a gunshot.  That is the sound of the bullet ripping through the air and the air is complaining about it.  No air in space so no gunshot.  You might hear a muffled thump from the initial explosion of the gunpowder, but only if you are in contact with the gun.  In the series Firefly (Sci-Fi, tonight 7pm) there is a scene where they are trying to takeout something that is towing their ship toward danger.  My first thought is, "A gun is not going to fire very well in space with no oxygen for the gunpowder to burn" but a second later they are grabbing a suit to put the gun in so it will have oxygen around it to fire.  I was impressed but to have as much when there was silence while the rifle "Vera" was fired out the airlock with five people holding the guy with the rifle.  This is a funny series, a throught-provoking series, and a cancelled series.  Isn't that always the case?  But there will be a movie this septeber in theaters to wrap up the story lines.  Maybe, if the movie does well, it will be revived by another studio.  For now, I'll take what I can get.
    8/9/2005

    {Droooling}

    OMG!  I can't wait for October.  October is when Showcase (one of Palmer's remote locations) is getting another 1.5mbit pipe to double the pipe between them and the internet.  Of course, it doesn't help very much if we don't increase our pipe as well.  So, we are going to a 10mbit pipe.  I gotta go find a sponge to clean up this drool.
     
    8/8/2005

    D'oh

    D'oh! No go!
    8/4/2005

    Talking about Family...

     Apparently, I touched a nerve.

    8/3/2005

    Traffic Report...

    "I don't know how many cars you've seen at 320 ft. traveling at 175 mph but I've only seen one and it was effen coool."   -Master Blaster

    On a lighter note...

    I had a cat scan today.  Found out what my problem was...

    Family...

    Wouldn't it be nice to be able to choose your family like you choose your Friends?  I'll be the first to admit that I'm lucky when it comes to family.  Growing up, our entire family was close.  The closest thing we had to a family problem was one time when my parents were arguing very strongly.  She went to visit family for a few months and then everything seem to go back to normal.  There's nothing I wouldn't do for my family just like there's nothing I wouldn't do for my friends.  I blur the line between friends and family.
     
    In my eyes, Jim is like a Brother to me and Rachel is like a Sister.  If they're hurting, I am hurting.  If they're happy, I'm happy.  I know Rachel is upset and I wish there was something I could do.  I will say this;  there is a reason why Jim is my best friend.  He will not judge someone by their apearance but by their actions.  I have never know him to be mean and malicious, unless he is provoked.  I could not think of two people who are more made for each other than Jim and Rachel.  They stand up for each other and for their friends.  I would count myself lucky if they were a part of my family, by blood or by mariage.
    8/2/2005

    Good ole days...

    I really miss the good ole' days.  I can remember speding more time away from home than at home.  I can remember spending the night at a friend's house on a whim just cause it got too late.  I can count my close friends on one hand and I remember when I would not go more than one day without seeing one of them (not like the 10 days minimum that it usually is).  I need to get out more to get more excercise, but I hate going out alone. 
     
    And I am tired of inviting myself over to my friends houses because I don't know if they are humoring me or if they want me there.  I was very happy when they invited me over for Friday Night games and BG.  Unfortunately, I was pretty tired last friday and wasn't much into it.  But I was glad I got out.
     
    I am prepared to do more walking.  My biggest problem going out in public is that I can't walk far with out needing to sit down.  I don't want to resort to a wheelchair, because I want to get better, not dependent on something.  I have a stool that I carry around with me so that I can sit after I get tired.  At least I can go out now and not worry about collapsing before I find a seat.  And I much rather go out with friends because there are strength in numbers.  I've never been spit on when I'm with my friends.
     
    Friends: Jim, Rachel, Dan, J'Lynn, Randal.
    8/1/2005

    Fracking bikes.

    So I turn onto palmer ave and find myself stuck behind slow moving traffic.  I go home this way so that I don't have to drive in traffic.  As I approached the light, I quickly saw why everyone was crawling.  30 fracking bikes were in front of the two cars in front of me.  The light turns green (no left arrow cause the stupid light didn't detect any cars waiting) and the two cars in front of me get through on yellow and red, leaving me to wait.  Again.  Fracking bikes.  Light finally changes and I proceed on my way home and with in 30 seconds I'm behind the fracking bikes again.  Here they have a bike lane bit they would rather slow down everyone else.  Fracking bikes!  And then at the stop sign, they breeze right through almost causing an accident.
     
    Fracking Bikes!

    Parts is Parts

    So the problem with my truck was a bad Alternator.  They took out the battery, but it was over 5 years old so it was about time for a new one anyways, and they are ordering a new Alternator. Hopefuly it will be under 200 dollars.  Best thing is that I can push off paying for this for a week or two since it will come out of my paycheck.
    7/31/2005

    Stranded

    So, I'm leaving work on friday and I remember that I had to park accross the street that morning.  Shlepping 450 pounds that far is hard work.  But, I get there get in and start the engine.  Or at least try to.  I notice that the needle showing the Battery strength is on empty.  I look back across the street and see that there is no one left in the lot.  I pull out my phone to call my sister, but then remember she is probably just leaving work.  So I try calling Jim, his work isn't too far away and it's just after 5 so maybe he is still there.  Voice mail.  No problem, I'll try Rachel. Fast busy.  Still fast busy.  I give sis a call and let her know I'm stranded.
     
    So I sit there for awhile baking, not even the radio is working. after about 20 minutes, someone pulls up to the parking lot to lock up the equipment in the lot next door.  It happens to be Big Dog, which is the guy who used the truck before I bought it from Palmer.  He gives me a jump and I get the truck started.  I notice the power level on the battery is jumping all over the place, so I pull it across the street and park it next to the shop.  Ed and Dale will have something to do Monday morning.  Margaret pulls up and we head off to Pick up Elisa, they carpooled this morning so we are in Elisa's car which thankfully has A/C.  This means I won't have a vehicle this weekend.  Life sucks sometimes.